Today is my birthday!!! woohooo!!
after 17 years of bdae anticipation I think i might have just gotten rid of that problem. I remembered that when I was 8 years old turning 9, I would count down to my birthday 3 months before and everyday all I could think of is what cake I should get. I mean, it's not like I don't get to eat cakes on other days, but I think the prospect of singing song and blowing candle is kind of very alluring. Well I still think it is.
I was wondering today, when I woke up in the morning, why I don't feel all the adrenaline rush as I always did before? perhaps it is due to the fact that school ends at 5pm today and that I have CSC tomorrow, so I'll most probably end up mugging tonight and don't really get any real celebration time. Or perhaps it's just all those years in Nanyang when I hoped and got disappointed so I don't really think about it anymore. I strongly suspect the latter haha.
Still, I was touched by my friends who wished me happy birthday and gave me the presents. Thanks Jenn Shen Le Mingyuan for the treat on Monday (haha and burning a hole in your pocket), I'm not a very expressive person in nature (despite the fact that I talk a lot in class) so I didnt really show how happy I was. and to Nana who gave me all the pretty earrings!! I was planning to buy new pairs but always don't have time. So I really liked that ^^.
And Lanxin who called me so many times but I kept missing them! O.o oh well i just have a very very not-so-accomodating timetable. Still I really appreciated that!
and kaien! haha whether you are joking or not it's still quite fun la hahaXD
And of course jian xun! (hmm if i write your name like this wont get seen by googling them right?) It's a miracle that I've got yet another classmate who has the same birthday as me. and that card is really really nice present le, though just as you predicted you wrote my name wrongly hehe.
Lastly to all those who wished me happy birthday!
oh btw, 本人 did a test on Facebook just now. you know, i had always clicked 'dont show my birthday" on facebook, so at 6.30pm I changed it to 'show birthday" and then birthday wishes started to flood in^^ oh well let's not explore too deep into what this means. just want to say a big thank you to everyone!
Really, I'm a person who wouldn't judge how big the present is or what you give. Like what I gave others as presents, what I really like is the 心意 and the warm feeling that just flows out.
Overall it's been a pretty ordinary but wonderful and sweet day. cos this is posted on the blog i hope not-so-many people can see it. ^^
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I will be strong
I will be strong and brave through this dark period.
Yeah I will!!!!!!!
Even though life sucks now and I'm so stressed out and tired that I'm afraid I'll just break down any minute.
加油凌暄! 加油加油加油加油加油加油！
I'm sure I can do it. Yeah. I must be strong and cheng xia qu. Now is the least time that I should fall. No way.
Cos no matter how much life is difficult right now, all the difficulties will eventually come to an end. Yep.
Smile!!!!! ^^
Yeah I will!!!!!!!
Even though life sucks now and I'm so stressed out and tired that I'm afraid I'll just break down any minute.
加油凌暄! 加油加油加油加油加油加油！
I'm sure I can do it. Yeah. I must be strong and cheng xia qu. Now is the least time that I should fall. No way.
Cos no matter how much life is difficult right now, all the difficulties will eventually come to an end. Yep.
Smile!!!!! ^^
Saturday, March 20, 2010
videos and memories and more
Watching the Fac Dance video and the Batch Dance video brought me back to those memories that were from not so long ago...but they seemed like last year.
And they made me remember all those enthu-ness that i used to have when I first stepped into Hwa Chong, as a newbie who doesn't know how to get from A201 to A212. And who doesn't know that the track actually belongs to high school.
Somehow those feelings wore away. fast. perhaps it's due to the lack of sleep and the stress (and as I've come to realise, peer-pressure).
but bit by bit i thought that i was losing all those energy. like what i said in sec 3, like a battery that needs to be recharged but doesnt get the chance, so i'll just slip away and wait for the holidays to start, only to charge back only at the level to enable normal day-to-day functioning.
so last night, when i downloaded (painfully) all those videos into my iTouch and watched them over and over again, thinking about those days when i spinned (often in the wrong direction -.-) dancing with random people and wondering about all the days after orientation.
I used to think that climbing up the Audi and staring at the lecturer (who became tiny XD) was a very cool thing, cos it reminds me of those choir days when we came into the audi and marvel at how big (and ugly) the audi it is. And it is a total different feel than sitting in the Nanyang LT. (though for physics lecture it isn't)
But now because I am so tired and so sleepy i just think that audi is a torture. You know during IP orientation I loved walking through the door and passing by the front row, but now because i have to chiong for class most of the time i only feel dread.
ok, back to the point of discussion.
The whole dance video thing is like a council promotion. like, seriously, they should play it over and over again to encourage ppl to go for council. I totally got back all those drive (etc) to "serve the school and student body". something i realised that I really liked (not for the leadership points but yeah sth i liked).
And they made me remember all those enthu-ness that i used to have when I first stepped into Hwa Chong, as a newbie who doesn't know how to get from A201 to A212. And who doesn't know that the track actually belongs to high school.
Somehow those feelings wore away. fast. perhaps it's due to the lack of sleep and the stress (and as I've come to realise, peer-pressure).
but bit by bit i thought that i was losing all those energy. like what i said in sec 3, like a battery that needs to be recharged but doesnt get the chance, so i'll just slip away and wait for the holidays to start, only to charge back only at the level to enable normal day-to-day functioning.
so last night, when i downloaded (painfully) all those videos into my iTouch and watched them over and over again, thinking about those days when i spinned (often in the wrong direction -.-) dancing with random people and wondering about all the days after orientation.
I used to think that climbing up the Audi and staring at the lecturer (who became tiny XD) was a very cool thing, cos it reminds me of those choir days when we came into the audi and marvel at how big (and ugly) the audi it is. And it is a total different feel than sitting in the Nanyang LT. (though for physics lecture it isn't)
But now because I am so tired and so sleepy i just think that audi is a torture. You know during IP orientation I loved walking through the door and passing by the front row, but now because i have to chiong for class most of the time i only feel dread.
ok, back to the point of discussion.
The whole dance video thing is like a council promotion. like, seriously, they should play it over and over again to encourage ppl to go for council. I totally got back all those drive (etc) to "serve the school and student body". something i realised that I really liked (not for the leadership points but yeah sth i liked).
Sunday, March 14, 2010
school...
sometimes I just feel so tired trying to make things work. And at the same time I don't know whether i'm doing the right thing. Like should I just heck care? Or should I just work a bit harder?
And I read don't know what the others are thinking. Sometimes I would really mind what they think of me, and at other times I would think "just let it be".
they say, 走自己的路，让别人去说吧。It's really a thing that's easier said than done.
I think that maybe it's because I've been trying too hard to appear "invisible" during those years in Nanyang, or maybe it's just because I really really want a fresh beginning; for the past few weeks since school started I've been acting like a different person altogether. i think that if i have had a friend in the same class as me I wouldnt be acting like this. Like trying to be enthu and stuff. Maybe i've been too oppressed cos the past few years I tried too hard to ditch my primary school self. and now I'm going too all-out because i hate my secondary school self and want to change. Or maybe I'm just lost in the middle of all these 'self-discovery' journeys. oh well.
ok. enough about all these emo-ing. well come to think of it, I've hardly emo-ed at all for the past few weeks, not because i'm bubbly or optimistic, but because I hardly have time to sleep, let alone drown in my own sorrow about nothing at all.
well at least that's a change. once term 2 starts I think I will revert to my old self again, that quiet, reserved (and somewhat invisible) person who sits at a corner comtemplating about my future and what will happen 20 years later. haha. nevertheless the new environment has done some good to me I suppose, and even if people dont really like me deep inside, well at least I pretend not to know. who cares, nobody is going to remember what happens now after a few years, and what's important is that I enjoy myself and really try all-out. "self-discovery".
And I read don't know what the others are thinking. Sometimes I would really mind what they think of me, and at other times I would think "just let it be".
they say, 走自己的路，让别人去说吧。It's really a thing that's easier said than done.
I think that maybe it's because I've been trying too hard to appear "invisible" during those years in Nanyang, or maybe it's just because I really really want a fresh beginning; for the past few weeks since school started I've been acting like a different person altogether. i think that if i have had a friend in the same class as me I wouldnt be acting like this. Like trying to be enthu and stuff. Maybe i've been too oppressed cos the past few years I tried too hard to ditch my primary school self. and now I'm going too all-out because i hate my secondary school self and want to change. Or maybe I'm just lost in the middle of all these 'self-discovery' journeys. oh well.
ok. enough about all these emo-ing. well come to think of it, I've hardly emo-ed at all for the past few weeks, not because i'm bubbly or optimistic, but because I hardly have time to sleep, let alone drown in my own sorrow about nothing at all.
well at least that's a change. once term 2 starts I think I will revert to my old self again, that quiet, reserved (and somewhat invisible) person who sits at a corner comtemplating about my future and what will happen 20 years later. haha. nevertheless the new environment has done some good to me I suppose, and even if people dont really like me deep inside, well at least I pretend not to know. who cares, nobody is going to remember what happens now after a few years, and what's important is that I enjoy myself and really try all-out. "self-discovery".
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Ever since school started after CNY i have never slept before 12.
Oh well, except yesterday.
Cos i fell asleep on the table so i have no choice but to continue sleeping.
I think i wont be suffering from any jet lag now if i were to go to a foreign country. cos my biological clock is no longer functioning normally.
Oh well, except yesterday.
Cos i fell asleep on the table so i have no choice but to continue sleeping.
I think i wont be suffering from any jet lag now if i were to go to a foreign country. cos my biological clock is no longer functioning normally.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Timetable
i think that I might just be having the most un-organised timetable. okay, maybe apart from my (7) other classmates who are just as unlucky as me. On the other side, this timetable has made me made my final decision--that is, to NOT join choir. And NOT to join council. Cos I have no idea how this timetable can allow me to join any CCA in the first place.
Last year when I heard that Chiling has a 4 hour break in one of her 5 days I thought that that was bad enough. I mean, 4 hour break?? But now I look at my timetable and I can only say that I hope I have her luck.
Friday
07.50-09.30: GP (T)
09.30-10.30: MA (T)
10.30-11.00: Break (Yeah try to eat lunch in 1/2 hour)
11.00-12.00: PH (L)
12.00-13.00: PW
13.00-14.00: MA (L)
14.00-15.00: Break
15.00-16.00: CT
16.00-16.30: break
16.30-18.00: CSC enrichment
Last year when I heard that Chiling has a 4 hour break in one of her 5 days I thought that that was bad enough. I mean, 4 hour break?? But now I look at my timetable and I can only say that I hope I have her luck.
Friday
07.50-09.30: GP (T)
09.30-10.30: MA (T)
10.30-11.00: Break (Yeah try to eat lunch in 1/2 hour)
11.00-12.00: PH (L)
12.00-13.00: PW
13.00-14.00: MA (L)
14.00-15.00: Break
15.00-16.00: CT
16.00-16.30: break
16.30-18.00: CSC enrichment
Monday, January 25, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)